Archive for the ‘ Thinking ’ Category

one little word of the year

Last year, my word was peace. In 2010, my word was wonder. In 2008, it was hope.

This year my word is explore.

I have a lot of travel planned for 2012. Salt Lake City, Los Angeles, Little Rock, New Orleans… and that is just in the first two months! I think this year will be filled with many new experiences and I plan to embrace them. Seek them out even.

Did you choose a focus word this year?

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creating happiness

Sometimes (actually most times) I really dislike self-help style blog posts that try to give life coaching tips in short, profound statements, like “follow your dreams” or “be yourself.” Without specifics, it may feel inspiring to read things like that, but does it really help anyone in any measurable way?

…that being said, I am thinking a lot about these top five regrets of the dying today. This statement in particular struck me: “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

Is life something that just happens to you? Or, is it something you shape and create? I don’t know if there is an ultimate answer — it is probably a combination — but I am working hard to believe the latter.

———

For 2012, I am asking myself these questions:

What do I truly enjoy?
What do I truly want?
What do I have to offer?

It sounds philosophical, but really, I want to answer the questions as honestly and basically as possible. I don’t want to leave happiness to chance. Want to join me?

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violence and guilt

This is a sad story.

The tragic, gruesome news of the awful murder in a Lululemon store in Bethesda in March and this piece about the bystander effect, have had me thinking about a past murder…

During college I worked for an art magazine run by a couple who I thought at the time were quite demanding, but who were actually very kind, helpful, and supportive. Their office (seen above) was located next door to a bank in a tiny strip mall in the wealthy suburb of Leawood, Kansas. I worked for them every summer. They were in the long process of moving their office and home from Kansas to New Hampshire, and I often manned the office while they were traveling back and forth. There were other part-time workers off and on, but I was often alone.

Generally, I opened mail, answered phones, scanned images for articles, designed ads, and shipped out back issue orders… on June 18th, 2002, I think I was working on organizing the subscription database. I remember I was doing something dull that day, and I remember that day specifically because about 100 yards away, in broad daylight, a 19-year-old girl was raped and murdered in the maintenance shed of the neighborhood pool.

Of course, I didn’t find out about the murder until I left work in the evening and went home to my parents’ house in the next suburb over. Benjamin Appleby, a convicted felon with a pool cleaning business, had strangled Ali Kemp while I was busy checking addresses on a computer screen in our office across the street from the pool.

I was a 21-year-old college senior. Ali would have been sophomore at KState. We were both diligently working our summer jobs. We didn’t know each other.

For a split second after learning of the murder, I thought, “it could have been me,” but I’m actually strangely defiant when it comes to NOT allowing criminals to scare me or dictate my behavior, so I didn’t actually ever feel scared. Not even when I had to return to the office alone the next day.

I did, and still do, feel guilty. I had never been in that pool in my life and had no reason whatsoever to go into it that day, but what if I had? Could I have prevented the crime? Why couldn’t I have psychically felt a disruption in the force and told the bank security guard to go check things out?

I actually had thoughts like that for a long time… I guess I still do.

It was such a random crime. I don’t have the exact numbers but I would guess that the city of Leawood has less than one murder per decade. It took the police three years to catch Appleby. He was arrested in Connecticut in 2004, and in addition to DNA evidence, I think he eventually confessed. He is in prison.

Perhaps each of us will either knowingly or unknowingly be in close proximity to violent crime at some point in our lives. I was not a true “bystander” during Ali Kemp’s murder. There was no way that I could have known that a crime was being committed. However, if I ever am a witness to violence, you can be sure that I will not stand by. I will take action.

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Occupy Wall Street

I hadn’t been paying much attention to the Occupy Wall Street protests or news coverage, but then yesterday I started reading We Are the 99 Percent and I became more curious about the movement. I kept clicking around to different news websites reading about it, and then I thought, “Hey, I work for myself. I have a flexible schedule. Wall Street is less than four miles from my house. I should go check it out in person.” So, I did.

I read that there was going to be a march starting at Foley Square at 4:30. I took my camera and headed in that direction. It was easy to find the main group of protesters by following the sounds of drums and chanting. I wanted to learn more about why so many people had decided to protest, so I wandered around checking out all of the different signs. Here are a few of my favorites:

Eventually, I sort of found my way into the march down to the financial district. It was a fun two hours of slowly walking, snapping photos, and talking with the other participants. Everyone around me was friendly, considerate, and excited to have the opportunity to express themselves. The NYPD were out in full force and I actually thought they were awesome — they were respectful and super-accommodating of the march. (I know there have been arrests and reports of abuse, but what I personally saw yesterday left me impressed with New York City and its ability to facilitate peaceful protests.)

There was an extremely diverse selection of people represented in the 6,000-person crowd — young people, older people, NYU & Columbia students, union workers, college professors, mothers with children, non-profit groups — not to mention a VERY wide variety of causes and interests being expressed. I collected leaflets from Libertarians, Socialists, Anarchists, Communists, and just plain, general revolutionaries. There were Obama supporters, Obama haters, vegans, doctors and nurses, family farmers, LGBTQ activists, and war vets, like the two handsome fellows here…

On the micro level it did all seem a bit disorganized and unfocused, but overall, I really felt like there was a consensus about why they (we) were all there: they wanted to express their frustration with the economic and social injustice in the world. In general, they (don’t we all?) want access to opportunity, a more equal distribution of wealth and prosperity, and most of all, good jobs.

I think that we can all agree that the high unemployment rate is hurting our country. Unfortunately, solving the problem is obviously very difficult and everyone has a different idea of what would work. BUT (here comes my optimistic spin) isn’t it isn’t it amazing that we live in a country where we each have the opportunity to express our ideas and opinions?! Whether it is a Tea Party rally or an Occupy Wall Street march, people are frustrated and they want their voices heard. What an awesome expression of freedom and democracy!

What do I personally think about our economic situation? Hmmmm. There is a lot of info, ideas, and opinions out there… but generally? I believe all people are of value and I think all types of hard work should be respected and rewarded. My goal is to help shape our society to reflect those ideals. We CAN figure out this economic problem and create living wage jobs for everyone willing to work. We can create the America we want. I truly believe that.

Want more info about Occupy Wall Street? Here are a few links:

What do you think? How can we solve the economic crisis?

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on beauty

Last night a friend told me, “Every woman is beautiful when she smiles.”

“Totally true,” I agreed, but in my head (and maybe out loud, too) I thought, “but you get extra points if you are young and thin.”

Which sort of brings me to the images above… Vogue Italia featured full-figure models in its June cover story. (Click through for more images, but they are somewhat NSFW… unless you work for Vogue. Hey, its European.) The cover story is sexy. It adds more evidence to support the argument that size really doesn’t matter when it comes to beauty.

Vogue Italia also warms my heart by having an entire V Curvy section of its website. My one semester of Italian isn’t much help in appreciating it fully, but I’m glad it’s there.

The loss of youth and beauty is an anxiety as old as time, I suppose, but is it a little worse in the age of super models and photoshop? The American Medical Association recently formally denounced retouching photos with photoshop and asked ad agencies to consider setting stricter guidelines for how photos are manipulated before becoming advertisements.

I truly have no idea where I stand on this issue. Sure, images of women in magazines and on tv are completely unrealistic (even the curvier women seen above are undoubtably retouched), but who wouldn’t want a public image of themselves to be enhanced a bit? Plus, aren’t we smart enough to know the difference between reality and fantasy?

The standard for beauty that I have etched in my brain is this photo of Gwyneth Paltrow on a 1998 cover of W magazine. (This is the largest image I could find, but I think the actual cover is probably still at my parent’s house in a box. I had it hanging on my wall as a teen.) I am sure that I identified with her blonde hair, but I liked her freckles and messy bangs. I don’t think I paid much attention then, but now I also appreciate the fact that she doesn’t have gaudy, round baseball cleavage all up in our faces. But that’s just me.

I really don’t know where I am going with this, other than to say that I am defintely getting older and less thin. (I know I’m getter older because the Victoria’s Secret models now look like 7-foot-tall, computer generated 13-year-olds to me. Don’t ask how I know I’m getting less thin.) That’s the bad news. The good news is that I think I am at peace with it. I think… Well, I’m at least at peace with the idea that there are many different types of beautiful. Young & thin doesn’t have a monopoly. Right?

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it’s not so bad…

I am feeling discouraged today. The internet feels especially negative lately.

Let’s see if I can scrounge up some positives…

Leftover strawberry-rhubarb pie made by my friend, Lauren
“Super Bass” by Nikki Minaj
“Antiques Roadshow” went to Eugene, OR, and found a $500,000 Norman Rockwell painting!
Tonight is the kick-off for the fall Team In Training season – and Travis is training this season!!
List me a few more in the comments…

Off topic: Should I spring for HBO so that I can watch True Blood and Game of Thrones? Or, just wait it out and get ‘em on Netflix?

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women in art

I went and saw the documentary film, !Women Art Revolution, today with my friends, Jessica and Lydia. Lydia is an art advisor and suggested the outing to the IFC theater. I am glad she did.

The film by Lynn Hershman Leeson was a great refresher on the feminist art movement of the 60s, 70s, and 80s. It re-introduced me to artists like Judy Chicago (whose Dinner Party is seen above), Carolee Scheemann, and Ana Mendieta. It also reminded me of the Guerrilla Girls, an anonymous art activist group that played a considerable part in my undergrad education thanks to my awesome professer, Julia Franklin. (Below is one of the Guerrilla Girls posters that they created to bring awareness to the lack of female artists in major institutions.)

I enjoyed the movie. It refreshed my thinking in regard to recent art history and feminism. It showed how systematically the contribution of female artists has been excluded from art history and how much work women have done in an attempt to reduce sexism and discrimination in the art world. It was a good reminder of the importance of supporting female and minority artists, but it also reminded me why “feminism” seems to be a bad word for some women in my generation.

I consider myself a feminist. (I believe women — and all people — should have equal rights and opportunities and be able to choose their own paths and fulfill their potential in any way they choose. I also believe that women should have equal representation in our government.) But I can also see why others may not. Sometimes the feminist movement can come across as militant and hateful toward men. And even if that is absolutely NOT the central focus of feminism, I can see how women who love and admire the men in their lives (like I do) and who do not have the desire to be confrontational may have a hard time identifying with the movement.

!Women Art Revolution addresses this conflict and the problem of the less-than-positive view of the feminist art movement by younger generations. Contemporary artist, Alexandra Chowaniec, is quoted explaining that “there’s a fear within my generation that identifying with feminism is a limitation and not a foundation.” A hope expressed in the film (and which I share) is that we can work to re-define “feminism” so that it can be a more uniting and inclusive term.

The film is not perfect, nor is it an exhaustive history of women in art, but it expresses a very important point of view that is still very relevant today. All people are of value and everyone has the right to fight to have their voices heard – that is the message I take from the film. I hope !Women Art Revolution will be shown in all art history classes alongside all of those male-dominated text books.

Shades of Alice, a piece in the collection of the American Craft Museum, New York, by Faith Ringgold, one of the artists interviewed in the film.

———-

Read more about !Women Art Revolution at ArtInfo and the NY Times. All of the footage shot for the film, including the hundreds of hours that weren’t included in the final cut, can be viewed here. And, definitely check out the new RAW WAR online archive of art by women. There is still work to be done.

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back date

I am ridiculous and already had to backdate this entry for Thursday. Didn’t think The Diary Challenge would get hard on just the second day! ha!

I finished my pina colada cupcake this morning for breakfast. Hey, I was celebrating my sister-in-law, Amber’s, birthday, so it is allowed! Happy Birthday, Amber!

Today, I got a little too into writing this piece about daily deal sites for Ace. I am intrigued by the daily deal/flash site phenomenon. Many of the websites are super-successful startups, which is awesome, but I obviously subscribe to way too many because I am getting really tired of the constant “buy, buy, buy!” I am interested to see how the industry grows…

Swap-bot was busy today, too. There has been some duplicate account drama. We only allow one account per individual in order to avoid swap abandonment and sometimes I have to do some detective work to find duplicates. The Swap-bot members are a big help, but it still takes time to sort through some of the situations.

What made me happy today: My leftover cupcake, obvs – finishing a longer article for Ace and generating some conversation – getting to the bottom of a particularly strange account issue on the ‘bot – Travis picking up and preparing dinner – Words with Friends (I’m addicted right now).

What made me sad today: I am STILL sick! So tired of my sore throat – had to skip my bootcamp class because of being sick – anxiety over being behind on my Swap-bot admin email.

Question for tomorrow: What do I want to accomplish this weekend?

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the diary challenge – kickoff!

So, today is the first day of June. It is my little brother’s birthday (Happy Birthday, Seth!) and it is also the official kick off of The Diary Challenge. I have been writing every day on my blog as part of the Challenge for about a week, but continuing it throughout the whole month of June is the ultimate goal. Want to join me? (Opal and Catarina are already on board.) If you want to challenge yourself to writing every day — whether it is on a paper journal, a blog, a old school diary with a little lock and key — all you have to do is write something every day. Easy.

Grab one of these badges or the code to show your participation on your site…

For the larger 200 pixel badge use this code:

<a href="http://www.rljart.com/blog/?p=4019"><img src="http://www.rljart.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/diarychallenge200.gif" title="The Diary Challenge" width="200" height="200" /></a>

For the smaller 125 pixel badge use this code:

<a href="http://www.rljart.com/blog/?p=4019"><img src="http://www.rljart.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/diarychallenge125.gif" title="The Diary Challenge" width="125" height="125" /></a>

So what is the point of The Diary Challenge. For me, I want to get in the habit of writing more often. I also want to dig a little deeper and write more introspectively. I want to address the following questions, some of which I borrowed from the Work Diary post on Ace:

How do I feel each day about my mood and productivity?

What am I good at and how can I use my skills to accomplish more with my online businesses?

What things are most important to me? What things make me most happy?

What are my personal and professional goals and long-term vision?

I’ll definitely still be writing about plenty of fun and silly stuff, but hopefully I’ll gain a little perspective on my work life and share some helpful insight into my daily process. What other questions should I be considering?

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long weekend

Long weekends are a miracle. Travis and I attended two barbecues over the last two days, both hosted by generous friends who cooked us delicious food. We are lucky. For a lot of reasons.

I guess appropriately, I’ve been thinking about military families a lot this weekend. I recently read this blog post about military life from one of my favorite bloggers. I don’t think I can ever fully comprehend the extreme sacrifices that go along with military service, but I am very thankful for those who choose to serve.

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