i have had some comments about crocs and the wedding that I will be attending during the summer. While some of you know the story, there are a couple of you who might not. For those of you who might you can skip over the next paragraph, but I warn you you could miss some great blogging. For those of you who don’t want to read this long post, skip to the end there are cliff notes.
During last summer Chelsea and I attended our best friend’s wedding. Chelsea and I were actually in the wedding so we really didn’t have a choice of not going. Being a grooms men I had to wear a tux, which came from the great story of After Hours Tux. And when I say great, I mean they suck. They screwed up the order so many times we had to get out an abbacus (luckily I carry one in my back pocket sometimes don’t ask why that is for another post) to count all their mistakes. They messed up so many times I didn’t bother telling them they gave me the wrong size shoes. I figure I could handle it, I would only have to wear them a couple of hours. Well after two minutes and 37 seconds I wanted to chop off my feet and feed them to a rabid squirrel.
Why a rabid squirrel you might ask, and to that I say, why not a rabid squirrel what do you have against rabid squirrels?
I had to wear the shoes for who knows how long, after thirty minutes I blacked out, some how I finished the wedding and reception without anyone knowing I blacked out. When we finally got back to the hotel we were staying at I took off my shoes and examined them to see if I saw any damage. There was no physical damage but the blood had been cut off to my feet for 4 hours so I didn’t have any feeling. I wasn’t to worried about this at first. Two months later I still didn’t have feeling in my big toe, and we were starting to talk about wedding plans. Well I didn’t want a remake of the last wedding. Sure I only lost the feeling in my big toe, but who knows what else it could have been? I decided that maybe dress shoes weren’t the thing for me at wedding, and I thought crocs would suit be better. They are comfortable, and we could get them in black. I thought this was a brilliant idea and I presented it to Chelsea. She laughed and told me good luck getting June to buy into it. So I did my research and set up a power presentation. I made charts and graphs. I had so many charts and graphs that I made Magellan look like a kid with figure paintings. So I got this all ready, I did the bear speech from Swingers to pump me up and presented it to June. Well she sat through two minutes of it and started to laugh. She just threw her hands up in the air and said, “Scott, you’re such a kidder.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I had spent three long months coming up with this presentation and June just laughed at me. It took her two seconds to relies I wasn’t joking. She stop laughing and looked at me with a straight face and said “No.” That was the day that my dream of a perfect wedding was shattered into a million pieces.
So long story short, I asked to wear crocs and June didn’t think that would be a great idea. To tell you the truth I kind of agree with her. In a side note I am a horrible speller and really bad at grammar. So for those of you who pride yourselves of your writing ability. I just want to say thanks for getting it this far without wanting to rip your eyes out of your sockets.
Disclaimer: Some of the facts in the story have been changed to make me look better.
Peace